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COINCIDENCE BY JAN KNOWLTON  

Both Jim Frey my therapist and I resided in Westminster, California for a period of our childhood but fifteen years apart.

She lived off of Westminster Boulevard near The Blessed Sacrament church. 

He attended the Blessed Sacrament Church.

Each received abusive treatment at the hands of his / her father and repressed most of it.

I thought about these coincidences while in my car listening to a radio interview of a man who wrote a book called; WHEN GOD WINKS. His website is www.whenGodwinks.com
David Statue by Janice Knowlton on Oct. 7, Sat. 2000  

On oct. 7, 2000, I spoke to a class at CSUF (California State University Fullerton) on child abuse; One gal kept crying. She's 40, divorced with kids and completing her degree while on welfare. She spaced out at some point in what I shared about my father did to me, and when we spoke later, it turns out she had been treated the same way by a parent. It was so painful still that her mind just "went away," which I suspect is what happens to so many who have "attention deficit disorder."

We spent some time together, even went out to the rear of the building and sat on the "bisected" statue of David, which fell and cracked at a cemetary in Whittier during an earthquake, and was transferred, broken to the campus to illustrate that even when broken, great art is great art, [or something like that.]

What I'm sharing next is graphic so be on guard:

Unfortunately for me, David's white marble body is cracked in half at exactly the place Betty Short's was when I saw my father dissect her white body. Thus, I have been so uncomfortable going near the fallen statue that I have not traveled since, from the campus where I take classes, [Ruby Gerontology Center], to the campus proper, which requires me to see the statue.

With this gal from the class, who looked at a photo I have taped inside my personal copy of my book, showing Betty Short on the morgue table, [a man - Thad Stephan, Ret. LASO ] mailed it to me after I got memories and was investigating to prove them]. She could see the resemblance and because we had developed a rapport, she was able to be with me and we sat on the broken statue and made jokes. A little boy opposite, about 4 with adorable blonde curls, was sitting on part of the statue with his parents and called over to us; "This is David!" I called back; "Yes, It is, he's like Humpty Dumpty who had a great fall...!"

I guess I'll be able to audit some classes, which is allowed in the program I'm part of.
 
Just thought I'd spook you with that, it being almost Halloween and all.

Jan


Janice's "Big Sister"  


Shortly after moving to New York, as a young woman, Janice met several other young men and women and they lived in the same residence. One of these, one of many lifelong friends Janice made, was someone who seemed to have been, from that very early time in Janice's life, to have been a person who Janice saw as symbolic of all of the adults in her growing up life who abused her in one way or another, especially with their disapproval.

Time and time again up until only a handful of days before Janice died, she would turn to this friend for advice even though this person may have been, to some degree -  in a manner of speaking -  poison for Janice's fragile psyche. This was a person, nevertheless who loved Jan and who felt devastated so much by her death that she wrote a memoir about their first meeting and their friendship. 

Janice would run to this other young woman for advice and comfort. She copied some of her fashion do's and dont's and how she applied her makeup. These things were resented by Shelly. This was a woman who served as a big sister in a way in Jan's life. She would serve as a sounding board for Janice and would tell her straight out what she thought, even if it sometimes hurt Jan's feelings. I learned a lot that I never knew about the workings of Janice's mind partly because of her. Janice was always more fragile than I knew. I wish I had known that about Jan.
Pack Rat People by Janice Knowlton 1998  
Pack rat people were once little people, once

little girls and boys who hid from all the abuse 

in their homes under newspapers,
 
furniture and toys.

Pack rat people may have millions or have no

money at all.

But when they were harmed, no one heard, no

one answered their call.

So they kept collecting this and that, to protect

their hiding place.

It's all over now, the pack rat's dead.

You can clear out the pack rat's space.

You ask: " Poor old bugger, poor old lady,

What happened to them anyhow?"

You don't need to wonder anymore.

WE'RE ALL SPEAKING OUT NOW!


Subject: RHYME: This was based on the true story

of two brothers who became reclusive out of fear

of the city's dangers
Her Friends  
She was much loved and appreciated and even after death some who never met her in life have read about her here or read her book and have said nice things about her. Thank you to all who have done this. written on April 8, 2006



Bart  
Janice & Bart Sandberg were married in 1970 and separated in 1972. They were still in love but there were problems they were unable to fix. If you are reading this Bart, I hope you will post a message on here along with your email address. I hope you are well. I was sorry that things did not work out for you and Jan~
Janice's Psychiatrist, Dr. Adonis Sfera told me in a letter that he was convinced that Janice DID NOT intend to commit suicide~  
While he was away, and two days after their last meeting, she took some SSRI's but my pharmacist told me these medications should not have been able to kill her. She added that only the xanax would have been able to do that, but she only took one. However the coronor told me that Janice took enough of each medication in individually toxic amounts to die from any one of them. It was stated on Janice's record by the coroner in Orange County, Ca. that Janice died from the combined medications. I don't know who Janice spoke with the day before she died when she wanted to be admitted to a hospital [but not the mental care facility] to try to have her meds adjusted. I only heard from her doctor this week, because l was too timid to write to him before. I emailed him back after he wrote me back, and asked him to send that information to the coroner. I then made a copy of his note and snail mailed it to Sheriff Carona of the Orange County Sheriff-Coroner Agency. I will keep you posted on new developments~  January 4,2005; The coroner on Janice's case has told me that Dr. Sfera told them something opposite to what he told me, in that he apparently told them that Janice was suicidal. However it is illegal for them to share anything Janice told her doctor when she was alive. That is known as a catch 22. I was further told that the blood levels of all she took were high [ the combined meds ]. I accepted long ago that suicide was a possibility but for her doctor to tell me it was not suicide and then to be told by the coroner that all of their evidence says otherwise is like going through it again, and I still haven't been ablle to find out on what date she phoned her doctor's fill-in because she was depressed and wanted to go into a hospital on a non mental treatment floor or if he was interviewed at all. I guess there will always be unanswered questions~ 
A Namesake in Her Memory  
I sponsor a little girl ,born sixty years after Janice who shares the same given name, through the Christian Childrens Fund in memory of my big sister..
1991  
Janice was proficient as a poet. Nine of her poems appeared in POEMS FOR THE HEALING JOURNEY, edited by Lana Bateman, published by Barbour Books, 1991.
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